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Disclaimer

Do NOT Mail Subscription Requests To Julian !
They Are Deleted Unseen By Julian's Spam Filter.
Do It Yourself !!

This is: http://www.berklix.org/robot/diy.html
( See also newer page at
http://www.berklix.org/robot/majordomo/do_it_yourself.html )

Use The Free Robots For Subscription Changes & Ski Bookings.

Do Your Own Address Additions, Deletions, & Changes:
Mail Majordomo Your Subscription Change Request !

Try Majordomo it's quick & easy !

Read the Introduction first if you want; Or jump straight in & Try It. You may need a few goes before you succeed, or you may prefer to read the Introduction first.

Too Lazy To Try Majordomo A Few Times ?
Do No Not Waste Your Time Asking Julian To Waste His Time Too !

Some are so lazy they won't even try Majordomo a few times & engage their brain. Instead they mail Julian wanting to waste his time. A waste of theirs ! Their mail gets deleted automatically, unanswered, by his spam filter, he never even sees their request, & their subscription remains unchanged.

Still Clueless After Trying Majordomo A Few Times ?

Try Majordomo several times And engage your brain - hard, think logically even if mostly you prefer to think intuitively smiling face icon Analyse Majordomo results with a friend. Think, Try again !

If You Finally Consider Yourself Incompetent

Buy some friend (Not Julian) or colleague a beer or cake to offer advice or hold your hand while you or they use Majordomo for you. Spread the load ! Ask someone else for advice ! Consider buying any "Internet For Dummies" book that has a section covering use of mail lists. Consider signing up for Internet night classes.

The Red Cross Final Option For Terminal Incompetents

For any who refuse or are incapable of getting advice from others on how to "Do It Yourself" - Julian won't waste his free time for such people, they must pay with their time & money, as a deterrent to discourage more people from being also tempted to waste Julian's time !
  • Go to a German bank:
  • Pick up a preprinted transfer form for the "Rotes Kreuz" (Red Cross, Red Crescent) as recipient.
  • Fill in Betrag/Amount as 10 (Ten) Euros,
  • Fill in Verwendungs- Zweck as: Your human name & email address - spell it Very clearly, make sure its the address to be added to or deleted from list, not some other older or newer address !
  • Include a blank stamped envelope, to post your form to bank after processing.
  • Include both & post in a stamped addressed envelope to Julian, his address is in phone book.
  • OR - Instead of wasting time searching for it Use Majordomo instead !... OR
  • Beg for permission to hand to Julian or any Beer garden organiser member at any announced event they happen to attend. Wait for them to give to Julian when we happen to meet. Don't try to obligate Julian or others to attend/ not be late/ not leave early, just because you want a time wasting manual un subscription !
  • Wait a long time till Julian finally gets round to wasting his time, un-subscribing you manually !
Comply precisely with the above. Any deviation will result in Julian Not wasting his time un-subscribing someone by hand.
  • Do not claim to have paid direct. Julian won't credit such a claim, you'll just have to pay again.
  • Do not pay 10 Euro to Julian's account. He will NOT unsubscribe for that (& will not give bank details), & will not repay, & will not do anything for it. Julian doesn't want anyone thinking he wants money for un-subscribing, He doesn't ! He just doesn't want people wasting his time any more !
  • Do not give Julian 10 Euros cash, he will not accept that either ! Fill out & bring your own bank form that you, not Julian, provides !
  • Julian requires a signed original unused form for 10 EU payable to Red Cross, physically in his hand, before he will consider wasting his time un-subscribing people by hand, which is completely un-necessary ! Use Majordomo, Don't wast Julian's time, your time, & your money !

Do NOT Mail Julian About Subscriptions !

  • Many people's `Just Want' requests were flooding Julian !
  • Each individual subscription change might previously have not taken Julian long, but there are hundreds of people on numerous mail lists who used to periodically mail Julian subscription changes.
  • All lists now have numerous subscribers who have successfully used Majordomo. Get one of them, or someone else who can think logically, to help share the load. Get them to teach you Majordomo . Julian _runs_ Majordomo & numerous other services, which is enough work in itself, & leaves no time to educate & hand hold all individual subscribers (hence he wrote the Majordomo web page.
  • In addition to doing subscription changes, the previous presence of a human rather than a computer program also attracted extra time consuming mail on related subjects, now also avoided by use of Majordomo.
  • Julian has too many friends on the lists to even be able to help personal friends unfortunately, let alone others.
  • Julian has given too much time for too many years running lists etc manually.
  • There are now more ever more lists, & people.
  • Julian invested more time installing the robots. It would be the height of folly to now not use them, & let the clueless & lazy continue to burden & deprive Julian of time, instead of making them finally take personal responsibility to maintain their own list subscriptions.
  • It's unfair to attempt to deprive Julian of his time, just because some are too lazy or clueless to try to use the robots.
  • It's unfair to everyone else too, to deprive Julian of time better spent developing extra functionality later useful to all.
  • Julian is a freelance, there is no distinction between `working hours' & `leisure time', there's just `screen time', & he spends too much time in front of the computer as it is, & has no screen time to waste.

No More Free Help !

  • Julian will Not waste time giving any help for any subscription task the robot programs can also do, regardless if your request is via personal mail, list mail, phone, fax, or in person). If you'r too lazy or clueless to use the robots, that's your problem, not his, he is Not paid to support all the people on all the lists, in particular not the large number of lazy &/or clueless on certain lists. Some personal solutions are suggested above.
  • Majordomo is pretty trivial to use, after you've tried it a few times, & given responses a bit of thought.
  • Do It Yourself ! Please Use The Robots, as it says on every mail footer !

What Julian Still Does

  • Organise Events for clubs using the lists
  • Run the servers (the net computers)
  • Run the Majordomo subscription robot.
  • Run the Mail Lists
  • Enhance (time permitting) extra infra structure to benefit all subscribers. EG more web interfaces.

Truly Exceptional Circumstances

In Truly Exceptional Circumstances, exception may be made, but Not for all the merely lazy or clueless who want to waste Julian's time. To discourage the lazy & clueless from presenting themselves as exceptional, the following mandatory pre-conditions apply, in this order only, before any action will be taken:
  • Wait to happen to meet Julian at some social event.
  • Offer to buy him a beer if he really believes your case is truly exceptional.
  • Buy beer
  • Wait again till he remembers to act on the request.
That may take months ! Go do it yourself, Free Now. :-)
The above completely excludes anyone asking Julian to do manual subscribes & un-subscribes now, with vague offers to buy him a beer later sometime. The double deterrent of making you wait, & consuming your money is intended as deliberate encouragement to Try Majordomo! Now ! & is Not a scheme to get Julian free beer: Julian does not want to consume _your_ free beer. Julian does not want you to consume _his_ free time.

No one gets any help or response, unless they at least provide substantial proof of repeated sequences of attempts at self help, including proven self analysis of Majordomo responses (by which stage people don't need to ask for help, - they have almost always analysed sufficiently, & succeeded themselves !).

Use your intelligence - Go use Majordomo Thanks !


Only Contact List Owners If :

The Majordomo documentation, defines the correct addresses for list owners.

Only Contact Majordomo Owner If :

  • There is some problem the list owner cannot solve.
  • There is some technical (not philosophical or user) problem.
  • There is a configuration or run time error with majordomo.
  • You are a skilled Unix admin / BSD person, & are reccomending syntax correction for an erroneous majordomo config.
The Majordomo documentation, defines the correct addresses for majordomo owners.

Only Contact Julian If:

  • You realise subscription requests are deleted automatically as spam.
  • You want to Phone order Purchase Of Computer Consultancy. (Best phone, email may get lost in over a hundred spams Julian gets every day). To discuss a short or long, local or remote contract, or to arrange pre payment for a few short hours, on/off site, via phone or net-remote or on site, please Phone Julian.
  • You're contacting for social reasons, nothing to do with your mail list subscription or ski booking etc ? OK

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