JULIAN H. STACEY - PHONE NUMBERS

English: For business I can speak English, German or very slow French
Deutsch: Ja, für Geschäft, können wir Deutsch reden.
Francais: Oui, pour le travail, je comprend Francais, mais tres lentment, si vous plait !

Unless you quickly state your intention to pay me Money for computer consultancy ... Rules below apply to phoning me ! - Else I hang up.

• Most un-recognised voices in German are phone spammers trying to sell me junk, (Unfortunate that makes it difficult to filter new customers calling me!)
  Meist unbekannte Stimmen in Deutsch versuchen mir etwas ungewolt zu verkaukfen, also es ist in ihre eigen besten intersse, entweder English zu sprechen, oder erklaren sie schnell & Klar, welche Consultancy tätigkeit sie denken daruber, kaufen zu wollen.
• Depending which phone number you ring from your end, & to which number my end, & time & day in week, & language, I take a guess if you'r yet another waster, or someone I want to talk to. That guess dictates how long before I hang up.
• Maybe I'll say eg "Hallo" & nothing more & wait.
• I get too many junk sellers phoning , I hang up quickly.
• You know who you hoped to call, & what you want.
• It's your job to identify yourself.
• I don't need you, you need me. That's why you phoned me !
• I happily hang up quickly unless you do that Quickly & Clearly.
• . Occasionaly callers are too obtuse or arrogant & they try to force me to identify my name before they identify their number, name, what they want, & sometimes even their lanugage.
• I've knows Germans British & other nationals all that daft, No loss to me when I hang up.
• I don't give my name or any other info, until I've forced you to state your name &/or what you want. You have the advantage of me, you know who you phoned, so Identify Yourself, else I hang up.

Do NOT give your name as the first word of the call !

Zu Erst: Wollen Sie Etwas Kaufen ? Nur Spater: Was war Ihre Name ?& Firm Name ?

• Unless you start by saying you will Buy Computer Consultancy
• Expect me to hang up, fast ! (Most callers in German whose voices I don't recognise, are selling junk or harvesting info).

• My computer shows & logs:
  • Name (not number) of any known caller, Or
  • Number of unknown caller, Or
  • "From NotAvailable" if old analogue or withheld
  • Which of my numbers you called, eg: business/ private/ clubs/ spammed from phone book, etc.
• If caller's number is NotAvailable
• • If a repeat caller, I may just pick up & say "Uh Huh !?" which forces caller to speak,
    • they hate that, which pleases me,
    • until then they know Both who they are & who I am (at least my number), whereas I know Nothing about them.
    • I get their language (often enough not German or English, but some freigner) If I dont recognise their voice, & they demsand to know who I am & theyr're not offering to purchase computer consultancy, theyre wasters & get Dumped.
  • If caller starts in German :
  • If a stranger fails to start by asking to buy Computer Consultancy ....
  • If I hear Fast German from an unrecognised voice,
    • If I suspect a robotised sales queuer: Caller gets classified as: "Another Waster (aka Phone Spammer) to dump": The response varies, sometimes

    • (Sometimes I don't just hang up, I do better: I deliberately give initial answers to robot to engage the queuue for human 2nd level response, then leave the phone on desk, occasionaly using keys or speach to lock up their sales robot or human, so they can't waste so many other people's time as well).

  • Or I interrrupt in English ""Err... Do you want to buy Computer Consultancy ?" (Which last brought a friendly laugh & response in English from German sales girl), & a freindly & quick agreement we had no need to talk to each other.
  Both techniques worth using as I find having my concentration interrrupted by phone, to be sold at in a foreign language. by someone who hides his number, as most offensive, & worth inconveniencing them in return, to the extent, they might note my number as too troublesome to call again.
• If clueless people phone in German, re. club events & mail lists I help run / organise, who ignore that the club's / events, my web pages, & mail list announcements I make are All in English: Well that's not exactly bright, & we aim to recruit bright people willing to use English.

• I am English - Ich spreche auch Deutsch - Aber Nur Hoch- Deutsch ! * Nur Für Bezahlender Kunden ! Ich will Kein Bayerisch Hören oder Lernen!
• Give all you numbers in single digit strings - not German swapped digit pair format. - Bei Nummern, sagen sie einzelne Ziffern, links nach rechts, nicht Paarweise rum-gefummelt !
• I have the usual English difficulty recognising German pronunciation of individual alphabet letters. I don't recognise umlaut pronunciation at all.
• Use the International Alphabet (For both German & English).

Physically

Office Hours

Americans & Canadians etc

  CHECK CURRENT TIME IN CENTRAL EUROPE before phoning.

• Make sure your browser & gateway are not caching old pages with old times! (To check, click reload a few times & see seconds increase).
• A "CEST" acronym means Central European Summer Time.

Do Not Put Me On Hold !

I Will Not Put You On Hold

Business enquiries welcome. The number is a normal ones, Not an expensive support tarif, Phone company does not pay owner a rebate when people phone.

Alphabet For when German & English speakers confuse each other with pronunciation ;-)

(*) Maybe latter I'll obscure my number with a better technique, using eg a: Captcha