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Unless you quickly state your intention to pay me Money for computer consultancy ...
Rules below apply to phoning me ! - Else I hang
up.
DO NOT SUPPRESS YOUR CALLER IDENTITY !
- I Will Not Talk To You If You Suppress Caller ID.
- My computer screen shows name (from number) of caller
before answering, & can have a different ring tone for
anonymous, to know it's not worth returning to look at the
screen), so it's in Your interest not to suppress your caller
identity !
- I sometimes do not answer anonymous callers. I don't need
strangers on analogue phones rabbiting away in fast Bavarian
dialect, trying to get free help. Nor do I want calls from
weird acquaintances (`Bekannter') who suppress their caller
ID.
- Serious business calls come with Caller ID On. Only time
wasters (EG questionnaires & sales people) suppress
caller ID: If they get answered at all, they get challenged
& dumped in perhaps 15 seconds.
- If you have Caller ID (as do German Business ISDN &
Mobile & UK analogue callers, & USA international
callers), leave it ON or turn it ON before
calling me.
CALL WAITING (`Anklopfen')
Do Not Put Me On Hold !
Shove me on `hold' for more than 5 seconds , & I'll
hang up on you, if I'm paying for the call & I'll not
call you back, or think further what you were talking
about, as you yourself thought it was worthless. To be
really rude, announce you'll call me back, shove me on
hold, then fail to call back !
I Will Not Put You On Hold
If I hear a call waiting signal my end while talking to
you: I will probably glance at the display to see name of
person calling, but will Not put you on hold to talk to a
2nd person, though I may arrange to speak to you later,
then terminate the call, & call the other person.
PHONE IN ENGLISH, NOT GERMAN,
UNLESS YOU BUY CONSULTANCY
Do not phone in German :
- Unless you start by saying you will Buy Computer Consultancy
- Else expect me to be readying to hang up, Fast !
As your call rings:
-
My computer shows me:
- Which number was called, business/ private/ spammed
from phone book etc.
- Name (not number) of known callers
- If the number is not known ...
- If stranger fails to start by asking to buy Computer Consultancy ....
- If stranger speaks local German ...
- If stranger speaks too much or too fast ...
- Stranger is clasified Another Waster to hang up on:
spammers/ tele-marketers, trying to interrupt work, steal
time, get money, & confuse with fast spoken German
sales scripts
- Or clueless people from clubs, events & mail lists
I help run / organise, some of whom ignore that the clubs /
events / technology of the industry / web pages / mail list
announcements were all in English, & were Not Looking
to recruit people who would not read English & would
just speak German.
If you want my time, Start in English, even if we
oscillate between English & Geman later.
He Who Helps, Determines Which
Language
- I am English - Ich spreche auch Deutsch - Aber Nur
Hoch- Deutsch ! * Nur Für Bezahlender Kunden ! Ich
will Kein Bayerisch Hören oder Lernen!
- Give all you numbers in single digit strings - not
German swapped digit pair format. - Bei Nummern, sagen
sie einzelne Ziffern, links nach rechts, nicht Paarweise
rum-gefummelt !
- I have the usual English difficulty recognising German
pronunciation of individual alphabet letters. I don't
recognise umlaut pronunciation at all.
- Use the International
Alphabet (For both German & English).
TIME ZONE - Central Europe, Germany
All Berklix servers can report
current time &
date.
Physically
In Munich, Bavaria, Germany. Central European Time zone. TZ
= "GMT+01:00" or "Germany/Berlin". 1 hour ahead of London,
England. Same Summer time switch over dates as London. In
(northern hemisphere) summer, London is 1 hour ahead of
Greenwich Mean Time = UTC, & Munich is 2 hours ahead.
Office Hours
- NOT available at 08:00 in Munich Germany, Do
NOT phone then !
- Not before 09:30 Munich time (Except where it cannot
be avoided, eg perhaps from Asia).
I generally work London commercial (not civil service)
office hours eg 09:30 - 18:30 UK (GMT or BST) time.
That's 10:30 - 19:30+ in Munich.- Early evening calls OK.
Europe is Way ahead from any of your time zones !
Phone me in your morning, not toward end of your business
day. I can handle calls arriving late my end, but I really
don't appreciate daft/ aggressive plays, eg a trans-
Atlantic lawyer who persisted trying to negotiate contract
terms after being told it was about 2 AM at home my end.
Only extremely urgent & important technical service
problems might interest me then. Your call is Not important
& Not urgent outside European office hours, unless your
first payment has already been received & verified by
my company's bank.
- Make sure your browser & gateway are not caching
old pages with old times! (To check, click reload a few
times & see seconds increase).
- A "CEST" acronym means Central European Summer
Time.
PHONE NUMBERS
Number below obscured (*) to disrupt spammers.
_a_+_b_4_c_9__d__8_
e_
9__f__2_
g__6_
h_0_i_
2_j_
3_k_2_
l_7_m_
6_ n_
Higher priority phone numbers are available once your company
has made first payment to my
company.
Business enquiries welcome. The number is a normal ones,
Not an expensive support tarif, Phone company does not pay
owner a rebate when people phone.
Alphabet For when German
& English speakers confuse each other with pronunciation
;-)
(*) Maybe latter I'll obscure my number with a better
technique, using eg a: Captcha
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